[If you do not share my previously expressed optimism about being able to do almost everything as well in smaller formats as larger, read on for a few ideas you might agree with!]
When one compares the high speed, low light ability of cameras in different formats, and the latitude to choose extremely limited depth of field, there is an apparent paradox.
On one hand, the new smaller digital formats, and in particular one-piece "digicams" with sensor format 2/3" or smaller, seem distinctly more limited than 35mm format, and theoretical comparisons based on assuming similar sensor speed ("ISO equivalence") or similar aperture RATIO (f-stop) support this.
On the other hand, amongst serious film formats, the highest speed and most extreme shallow DOF options available and regularly used are in the smallest such format, 35mm, and the options get slowly but steadily more limited as one works up through the various medium formats and into LF.
Here is an attempt to reconcile this, with a few predictions for what might happen as the new formats mature and acquire a greater range of lens choices.
Firstly, I will assert without formulas some optical facts that I believe have been agreed in numerous previous discussions on this site: once one has chosen a given framing for the final cropped image, meaning a certain angular width and height for the image of the subject formed in the camera, the aperture ratio (f-stop) giving a certain DoF depends only on the in-camera image size, changing in proportion to image size. Thus
a) The relationship of DoF to f-stop within a format is roughly constant for fixed framing even if subject distance and hence perspective is changed.

If choice of subject distance and perspective are also held the same but format (image size) is varied, keeping constant DoF involves changing f-stop and focal length in proportion to image size, so the aperture DIAMETER stays the same: equally large lens front elements, or equally "big glass" are needed regardless of format to get a given DoF and FoV.
c) Aperture diameter for constant DOF varies in proportion with subject distance, regardless of format.
Interestingly, in all cases giving the same DoF, the lens gathers light from the subject at the same rate (but delivers it to the sensor at higher intensity when the image size is smaller), so in this sense, DoF and "light gathering speed" are tightly tied together. Also, diffraction spot size as a fraction of image size is also fixed for given subject framing, regardless of format or subject distance!
Thus I will refer to the various aperture options giving the same DoF as "light gathering speed".
The main question for me, as one changes camera format and image size, is how do the available, appropriate choices of "light gathering speed"/DoF vary? If a smaller format has greater limits on shallow DoF and "speed", this would involve being pushed to use some combination of a smaller aperture diameter or a greater subject distance.
It seems that in the film world (35mm and up), nothing has limited the options for smaller formats and shorter focal lengths any more than the larger formats; shallow DOF options are there, and regularly used. On the other hand, larger formats typically have the potential for more resolution at a given print size, and to fully realise this requires reducing diffraction spot size relative to image size, which leads to choosing larger aperture diameters and hence accepting less DoF; perhaps compensating with view camera motions to keep all the important scene elements sharp.
But might this change when formats gets smaller than 35mm? Are there some design, performance, or market limits that will make it distinctly harder to get good zooms that go sufficiently beyond about f/2.8, or normal to mild telephoto primes going far enough below the current lowest f-stops at various FoV levels?
Optimistically, I have seen no optical design argument yet that would rule out making and using new lenses for smaller formats with the same aperture diameter as their 35mm counterparts; one crude idea is to add a "focal reducer" to the back of an existing 35mm lens design. That is, a teleconverter, except with magnification less than one, which also nicely increases resolution in lp/mm roughly in proportion to the demagnification factor, so roughly maintaining "lp per picture height." Also, neither Ray nor anyone else has persuaded me that small format cameras equipped with an adequate lens selection will systematically force photographers to stand further from their subjects, and hence increase DoF!
However, there are some market factors that might limit the options of "big glass for small formats".
Firstly, the mass market for digital cameras is very enthusiastic about "compact digicams", and being compact sets a size and weigh limit that precludes the big aperture diameters and large front elements needed to match fast 35mm format lenses. Combined with the fact that the compact lenses on such cameras can already provide a lot more speed than most of their users ever experienced with consumer film cameras (like f/2.4 at moderate telephoto and ISO 200+), I see little pressure in digicam mass market for significantly "bigger glass".
(The category of big lens 2/3" format digicam with EVF's cares far less about being compact; Sony in particular has offered a series of cameras that look like big lenses with a tiny control and recording device at the back end. Who knows how big apertures will get in this category?)
Secondly, I suspect that the desire for "big, fast glass" is overall driven by speed more than DoF, with some obvious exceptions like portrait lenses. (By the way, the portrait market has apparently just drawn the DoF line at 85/1.4 by not sufficiently embracing the now discontinued Canon 85/1.2.) Recently, overall speed has been helped by increases of several stops in usable ISO ratings of DLSR's over film, and some speed improvements in film too, and also in some situations by image stabilization technologies.
One apparent consequence is somewhat reduced supply of and demand for exteme large apertures; zooms are being used more often instead of primes, and a number of new, rather high end lenses from Canon, Nikon and Pentax that are f/4 or slower where their precessors would have been f/2.8. Traditionalists complain, but the SLR market overall seems to be opting for using these technological improvements partly to achieve less cost and weight, rather than using the gains entirely to get more speed (and less DoF).
[Examples: Canon 17-40 f/4L, 70-200 f/4L (?), 100-400 f/4.5-5.6L IS, Nikon 12-24 f/4 DX, 80-400 f/4.5-5.6 VR, Pentax 16-45 f/4 DA for *-ist D.]
So quite likely, most new lenses for formats APS and smaller will likewise offer a stop or two less lens speed than somewhat older fast 35mm film lens designs, and primes specifically for the smaller formats will be rare. For example, no company seems to be planning to offer a "fast normal prime" for APS or 4/3 format. For APS format, f/2.8 already seems to be the speed limit (except fr ner normal primes), and for 4/3 it is perhaps f/2; both are equivalent to about f/4 in 35mm format.
To be controversial, f/4 in 35mm format is probably "shallow" enough for most photography, but not all, so this leaves as my final open question what will be done, or needs to be done, about lenses specifically desired for extremely shallow DOF rather than speed, such as portait lenses?
As noted above, one you choose the framing, you get the same DoF in a given format by using the same f-stop regardless of focal length and subject distance. However you play it, f/1.4 in APS format does about the same as f/2 in 35mm format, and 4/3 format would need about f/1 to match that.